Grading

Radiation Day 15 of 35. Chemo 3 of 7.

This week’s Treatment Tuesday kicked off with a massive headache and a scratchy throat. That was before I even got out of bed.

I asked my counselor for an ice pack during our session today, just so I could get through my therapy. Talking today felt like trudging through knee-high snow, just laborious and seemingly pointless. Until the end of our session, when he asked me how I would grade myself at this point.

My first instinct was to say a “C” or “D.” And as I tried to step back and look at my performance objectively, I told him I was going to give myself an “A.”

I have been doing everything the doctors, nurses, and my family have asked, and more. The jaw and tongue exercises. Constant mouth treatments at home. The eating when I don’t want to eat. Drinking fresh green juices that Erin painstakingly makes and presses for me. Quitting drinking. Isolating as much as possible. Raising money.

So despite my inclination to grade myself harshly, I have to say that I’m doing everything required, and more, so I’m going to give myself an “A.” It’s the assignment that sucks.